God will help

From The Merry Heart to whomever wishes to read this, may you be blessed and uplifted in your spirit as I have been. The Lord has been transforming me by the renewing of my mind and did it need to be renewed! I am past 70 year old now and this all started as a young girl of about 12, the age of accountability, where you are accountable to God and whether you will accept him or not at a certain time in your life. We think of 12 as generally the age of accountability, and I thought the rest sounded like good philosophy!

At 12 where I and my parents and my 5 siblings were attending a revival at our little brimstone-hell-fire Baptist Church, a turning point occurred in my life for the worse. After the evening service I was putting away the songbooks as the church building also was our school and that seems to be my pattern; I’m always busy or too busy. The evangelist asked my twin sister to come forward the next night to be saved and to tell me as he couldn’t get to talk to me as I was busy. When she told me later that night in bed, I was offended that he did not talk to me personally so I determined that I was not going to go forward. And so the next night my twin, Delores, went forward and had a glorious experience; I should have gone forward as the Holy Spirit was dealing with me but I was stubborn and determined not to as I was offended. I went forward some time later but I didn’t have the same experience that Delores had so I always felt I wasn’t saved. Because of that offense and not feeling saved I have been tormented by Satan since then.

Yes, I grew up in a Baptist Church where you are “saved”. That means that usually at the end of his sermon, the pastor asks people to come forward to be “saved”. That means that you are ready to ask forgiveness for your sins and receive Jesus into your heart and save you from hell. Jesus died on the cross for our sins so that we do not have to die and go to hell for eternity. We do not have to pay for our sins as Jesus died in our place. God required a sacrifice for sin and He sent his only Begotten Son to do that. Jesus was the only one who could do that as He led a perfect life while here on earth.

Satan has told me so many lies which is his profession: he is the father of lies, he started it! I grew up not feeling loved, unworthy, shameful, you name it, I felt unworthy. I was a basket case and didn’t like myself or other people. Luckily I married a wonderful man who was kind and patient with me although I married him for the wrong reasons. I married him so I wouldn’t be an old maid. I know now that I couldn’t love my husband as I didn’t even have love for myself.

I joined a small group called “Cleansing Streams”, a wonderful class where you learn to overcome obstacles in your life with the help of God. Even before I started the class I told my husband I was being offended about every day. At the first class the teacher was telling about the book “The Bait of Satan” by John Bevere, that tells how satan makes us be offended. I thought, “What! Offences are little things, how can that be?” To my surprise when I read it, I was amazed how satan causes offenses to grow and get bigger. This is the story of how my life has been completely turned around with God’s help, I can’t emphasize “with God’s help” enough as that is the only way that my life has been turned around. I could not change myself on my own, I tried and tried for years to change myself but never could. Only God can do that. More next time. The Merry Heart